Clean,
crisp hallways filled with bright colors; empty classrooms with perfectly
straight desks, echoing silence. I breathe in the clean air and know that I belong
here; in this place…I will make a
difference.
Suddenly,
the bell rings for passing period. Chaos
fills the hallways; laughing, screaming, chattering students from all walks of
life. I plaster my back to the cold brick wall so I don’t get trampled while
attempting to keep a welcoming smile on my face. It takes only a few seconds for
boys and girls to begin trickling past me and through the door of my
classroom. They barely spare me a glance
as they pass, caught up in the drama of the day. Following the last student in,
I discover that the chaos of the hallway has consumed my once pristine
classroom…
“Please
quiet down and find your seats.”
Rambunctious
and happy faces everywhere, shrinking the classroom’s available space and
transforming the perfectly straight rows of desks to arches and angles…Ugh, math
terms that make me shudder. Football
players practicing their dodging and weaving in the back of the room, groups of
girls fixing each other’s hair, and someone’s brave falsetto was keening out a
song that I thought I would recognize in a different key...
“Sit down and be
quiet, please.”
I wander
through the room, breaking up the clusters of boys and girls and returning
order to the aisles. “Shhh…Have a seat,
have a seat…Hush…” I murmur as I go until the crowd settles down.With a second
ring of the bell, the lesson begins and a deceptively calm class turns its
attention to the day’s tasks. The
bellwork and clearly written instructions on the board bring a limitless parade
of questions and repeated answers that pull my attention away from the class as
a whole. The din begins to rise again…
“Quiet down,
please…hush now and face the front.”
I read several
chapters out of our novel next, performing to the best of my abilities and
hoping that my voice is animated enough to keep their attention. Even so, I must slowly walk the aisles to tap
the sleepers, texters, and avid gossipers on the shoulders. I count fewer taps than the day before and
hope that means I am making progress. At
a critical point in the story, I pause to check their understanding. An answer is given, which inspires a comment
from another, and another and another…the contagion of the conversation, now
completely off topic, quickly spreads throughout the room, accompanied by a
clamor of giggles.
“Hey, quiet
down, quiet down…we’re almost through…”
This snaps the
class back to attention until a study guide is handed out to a chorus of moans
and complaints. Frustrated, some
students throw their hands in the air; others jump up and storm the length of
the room only to return to their desks once more.
“Stay in your
seats…you may work quietly with your neighbor. Don’t just copy
each other’s answers.”
With great
reluctance, the class settles into their busy work as I patrol the room,
issuing warnings with a press of my finger to my lips. The students become aware of my pattern of
movements and are sure to lower their voices as I draw near…All except a pair
in the back. They are oblivious as I advance on them. I can feel the words beginning to bubble
up…If I’ve told them once, I’ve told them a million times…
“No,” the student’s
voice is sharp, hands protectively grasping the study guide. “Do your own! Miss B. said I can do this. She
doesn’t want me to fail!”
The words
disintegrate before they have a chance to burst from my mouth. I feel my heart swell. There is my difference in the world. Even if it is just one student in the chaotic
mob that floods from my classroom out into the once
crisp, clean hallways. It is that one difference that makes this whole day
worthwhile…and I cannot wait for tomorrow.
Your reflection was very well written! I could picture myself at at school, leaning against the brick in the hallway as you described. It was different trying to picture what I think is high school. I work with middle school so trying to control those who are taller, with their own agenda and set of responsibilities might be a bit of a challenge. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to see progress in action? To actually get to see the moment and decision to become a better student and that decision was made because of you! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing this! Your language is so vivid, it placed me right into the crammed hallways, and right into where you stand in the classroom. I love how you used "protectively grasping", "She doesn't want me to fail!" It really emphasizes this students' desire to make an impression, and to try to not fail you. It's amazing how one single student can make your day - and not only that, but a student has decided that they want to be a bigger, independent person because of you! Way to go, girl!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this wonderful reflection. I really enjoyed reading (and hearing) your story. You have a wonderful way with words and it was so easy to 'see' every step along with you. I could also connect on another level, as I too feel as though I have to repeat the "sit down and be quiet, please" phrase way too many times. The orderliness of the classroom, then the rearranging of that space, is a familiar experience as well. Thank you, again, for your wonderful writing.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this one of the biggest challenges we face as teachers? How to keep everyone in productive forward motion? I love how you've captured the students' energy and emotion with the "contagion of conversation" and "parade of questions." Some days it really is hard to see if we're making any progress, but when you see that one student really asserting her ability to do the work and learn, it really means something! Thank you for sharing this vignette with us.
ReplyDeleteLara
This is an amazing reflection on why it is that we do what we do. I enjoyed the depth of the detail that you provided, and how you captured the students so accurately. The experience is all too familiar, I'm sure for many of us, but you really nailed it on the head as to why we put so much effort into what we are doing. Even just one makes a difference, although I'm sure your number of differences will far exceed that limit! Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
ReplyDeleteKristal
You beautifully said what I have so often experienced. Thank you for that. It is amazing when a student firmly asserts their will to surpass the obstacles, to believe in themselves, even if it's for the first time, in their Senior year, with a list of F's a mile long. Once they catch that bug, the "can't fail" bug, then they grow a will that will overcome every obstacle that has previously held them down. It is refreshing to see a student fight for their right to succeed.
ReplyDeleteTheresa,
ReplyDeleteYour post does a wonderful job of detailing and expressing the challenge to keep a quiet and orderly classroom on any given day of the week. I think we all can relate to many of the distractions that surround us both from the perspective of the teacher and of the students. It is amazing that while the chaos of a classroom can be quite frustrating at times, it is often one of the elements that we most look forward to. Thank you for sharing.
-Scott
Theresa:
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this genre. I loved the way you described the school surroundings. This genre displayed a vivid image for me. Distractions seems to be the norm for any particular day and mood of the students. You seems to handle it well. A day is made for any teacher when they see a student succeed. Thank you again for sharing this genre.
Pat Strelow